Stay
by The Word Nerd
Summary: Songfic based on "Stay" by Sugarland


I wrote this songfic several months ago, after I woke up at about 3 AM with it in my head. This is my first piece published here - please be kind! Reviews are loved. :)

**Words in bold are lyrics from the song "Stay" by Sugarland, featured on their 2006 album _Enjoy The Ride_. Love the song, but it's not mine. ;)

* * *

_**I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall  
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call  
It's just another call from home  
You'll get it and be gone and I'll be crying**_

She lay in her bed among the rumpled pillows and wrinkled covers, alternately staring out the window at the fading sunset and studying the clock hanging on the opposite wall, listening to his deep breathing from behind her. He had been here for just over an hour; too soon she feared his cell phone would ring. He would jump up and rummage in the pocket of his discarded jacket lying on her bedroom floor, hurrying to answer her call. Because it would only be her; it always was. _Maybe tonight she won't call_, she thought hopefully. _Maybe tonight _… But she knew better. The call always came, and he always left her when it did. She didn't want to cry when he left … but the emptiness of her house when she was there alone was just too much to contend with, and she would curl up on her unmade bed and let her heart break a little more.

The phone rang. Muffled in his coat pocket, she could barely hear it – but the sound of it woke him up immediately. He stumbled out of the bed to answer it. She didn't listen to him; she turned her head and wondered what lie he'd told her this time. Lots of work to catch up on at the office, a late meeting, drinks with a client … she didn't care anymore. Once she had enjoyed the subterfuge, had helped him think of a new excuse every time, but no more. She hated hiding.

_**And I'll be begging you, baby  
Beg you not to leave  
But I'll be left here waiting with my heart on my sleeve**_

"I've gotta go," he said. He didn't even look at her, but slipped his phone back into his pocket and began to dress. "I shouldn't have stayed so long."

She hated herself for it, but the words slipped out before she could pull them back. "You said you were leaving her –" she began timidly, and stopped when he stood still, his shirt half on.

"I will," he said, his tone becoming harsh. "But it's not that simple. Be patient just a little longer, okay? I can't just _leave_ her."

"She has to know," she said. "Do you think she's stupid?"

"You don't know anything about her. Don't worry about it, let me handle her."

"Can't you stay with me? Just tonight?"

"I can't. You know I can't. I have to go home."

With that he was dressed and out her door without so much as a backward glance.

_**Oh, for the next time we'll be here  
Seems like a million years  
And I think I'm dying  
What do I have to do to make you see  
She can't love you like me**_

She knew it wouldn't be so bad if she could only plan their trysts better. She never knew when he would show up at her door; she tried to get him to set a regular time, but he wouldn't do it. He insisted it would look too suspicious, and above all else his family couldn't know anything about the affair, at least not before he finally left. Somehow she had a feeling they already knew anyway, but there was no convincing him of that.

Once she tried to ask him to stay away until he left her for good, but he protested that he couldn't do it. His wife was so cold, he said, and he needed her warmth. He needed her. _Needed her …_

_**Why don't you stay  
I'm down on my knees  
I'm so tired of being lonely  
Don't I give you what you need**_

A week passed and he was back again. She had planned to give him an ultimatum this time – he would have to choose, his wife or her. He could not have both anymore. But one look in his eyes was all it took, and she forgot all the promises she'd made to herself. They had their few moments of passion, but as soon as it was over she felt him drawing away from her. And before long, like always, his phone rang.

"I'm getting ready to tell her I want a divorce," he insisted, again. "The kids were sick last week, I didn't want to do it then."

She rose to her knees on the edge of the bed and reached out to him. "How much longer?"

"Soon." He kissed her forehead and stroked her long hair. "Soon we'll be together. You're so good for me," he murmured, apropos of nothing. Then he was gone.

She lay back on the bed and the tears began to fall in spite of herself. "If I'm so good for you … why do you keep leaving?"

_**When she calls you to go  
There is one thing you should know  
We don't have to live this way  
Baby, why don't you stay**_

"You don't have to jump every time she calls," she said the next week as he prepared to leave. "She can't order you around like that."

"She suspects something, okay?" he finally said, his face full of worry. "Her friends … I don't know if they know what they're talking about, but they talk. I've got to be careful."

"Why don't you just tell her? Then you wouldn't have to always be leaving."

"I will. I need … a little time. I'll do it."

_**You keep telling me, baby  
There will come a time  
When you will leave her arms and forever be in mine  
But I don't think that's the truth  
I'm tired of being used and I'm tired of waiting  
It's too much pain to have to bear  
To love a man you have to share**_

Months passed, still he never stayed. Not one night would he spend with her. The entire time they were together, he worried about his family with one breath and told her he was leaving them with the next.

She had never wanted to see his family; she didn't want them to be real to her. She didn't want to be able to picture faces. But finally curiosity got the better of her. She had to see them. She went somewhere she knew they would be, stayed out of sight and just watched them. His wife was beautiful and elegantly dressed, the children adorable models who worshipped him.

Anger suddenly bubbled up inside her. _They're like something out of a fucking magazine._ What was the bastard thinking, treating them the way he did? It was despicable; he was despicable. She wanted to apologize to his wife, but make sure she knew what he really was; she wanted to tell those children their father wasn't deserving of their love.

_**I can't take it any longer  
But my will is getting stronger  
And I think I know just what I have to do**_

She wanted to get rid of him once and for all, to tell him she was through … she hoped she might have enough time until she saw him again to build up the strength to withstand him.

She talked it over with her closest friends and they agreed – they had been telling her to lose him, had told her not to get involved from the first. This was it, her mind was made up. She pictured the scene over and over in her mind – she knew just what to say, she knew just what to do, she knew just what he would say, she knew just how he would look – and she would do it. She was through playing his game; it was time to think of herself for a change.

_**I can't waste another minute  
After all that I've put in it  
I've given you my best  
Why does she get the best of you**_

She opened the door and he was standing there, jacket over one arm, a hand already loosening his tie.

"I don't have much time," he said breathlessly, coming in and pressing himself against her.

"No," she said faintly, then again, stronger. "No. Not tonight. Go home."

"What?" he asked, stricken, certain he had heard her wrong.

"Not tonight," she repeated. "I can't do this tonight."

He opened his mouth to argue but apparently thought better of it. "I'll call you," he said as he left.

_**So next time you find  
You wanna leave her bed for mine  
Why don't you stay**_

"But baby, I need you tonight. I've had the worst day –"

"Tell your _wife_ that. Let _her_ comfort you."

"Now wait a minute, you're being unreasonable. I'll be there in a minute-"

"No. Stay home with your family. I'm done with this."

"Done?"

"Yes. For good. You're never going to leave her, and this isn't fair to me."

"Fair to _you_?"

"That's right." She slammed down the phone and turned to the window. After a moment she threw open the curtains and the soft evening light bathed her in warmth. She wasn't lonely anymore, she wasn't guilty anymore, she wasn't trapped anymore, she wasn't hopeless anymore. And for the first time in months, in spite of the tears standing in her eyes, she smiled.

_**I'm up off my knees  
I'm so tired of being lonely  
You can't give me what I need  
When she begs you not to go  
There is one thing you should know  
I don't have to live this way  
Baby, why don't you stay**_


End file.
